Right. Cheers, 2010, we've made it this far! Kids, in 2009 your dad was in love with a bright, sexy woman, but things didn't work out. I guess in the end every little detail counts, but needless to say, Lovely isn't your mother. Unless some unforeseen event is about to rock the scriptwriters' plan for season six.
Nope. In late 2009 I was twenty-two, trying to figure out how to get away from Lovely. Because I knew that our relationship had run its course. Maybe this doesn't make sense to you now, but I expect that some day it will. I just hope that day, that wisdom, comes without the additional expense of a divorce and/or child support payments.
But I wasn't just a miserable wreck because of one turn of events, no sir. You see, I was also in school at the time. College. The one I probably graduated from in summer 2010, if the money holds out and my teachers are supportive. But I wasn't feeling too hot in late 2009, I was reeling from an enrollment issue, of which I only ever disclosed full details of to pretty much just myself, and had to pay a fair share of money to get myself back in business. Which is why your old dad doesn't have as big a savings account now as he could of, if he has one at all. But it's all in the past.
Kids, there are a lot of things that I can teach you about life and mortal projectiles, but odds are, you're not experienced enough to understand, which means you're not listening to anything I say, which means you'll figure these things out for yourself one day, and all I can do is hope that you've retained enough of my advice to be thankful for it later. That fall/winter, 2009, I ended my second long-term relationship, and I was only twenty-two! I didn't hand in hard copies of two final essays, and of those two, the English essay in its final form wasn't even properly cited. I forfeited a lot of work for each of my required classes because I was depressed, exhausted, and drunk.
Well kids, I probably still drink, I'm sure you've seen it, but if I'm a decent parent I've you've never seen me drunk; excepting that, if you're old enough, I've always got a beer for you, and we've gotten soused together. I'm probably still exhausted, because I do too much. But I'm not depressed, because I've got you. And, of course, your Mother.
Kids, don't let this story's conclusion inform some of the less important decisions you make in the future. I got good grades that quarter, despite everything I didn't do, but I still failed the one class, which I passed the very next term, anyway, providing the teachers let me sign up for it within the next week. What I do want you to understand is this: I was pretty low for a while. I felt guilty for letting Lovely down, because that's how you feel when an important relationship ends. You want to blame yourself, because that's the only way to explain what's gone wrong. The truth is, it's both of your faults, but what's most important is that you'll never learn just when your life ends. If it feels like you can't go on then by all means, pause to breath. But don't stop when you do, or you may end up there.
Lovely and I tore me to pieces, kids. It changed me, and it didn't necessarily make me a better person. But if that hadn't happened I would have never met your Mother.
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Right, I'm not going to edit tonight, just scan and laugh at myself in the morning. Hullo!
I'm listening to Neko Case, a folk musician, which is the one attribute that makes her work utterly incomparable to the likes of Jem. Nothing against folk, Neko Case has certainly grown up on her Joni Mitchell and Linda Ronstadt, and even VU and most definitely probably Joan Baez. I haven't absorbed Joan Baez, so I can't really say. But she has the same contemporary haunt to her voice and melodies that Jem does. Jem's older sister, I guess, or a conservative twin sister who sips JD on the rocks instead of sucking down shots in a rave somewhere. I like this album, Middle Cyclone, it's called. It's on loan from Skip; that's his girlfriend's nickname, not mine, but it'll do in a pinch. On New Years I crashed on his couch: I'm baptized by fresh music and a defined sneer, but that's a few side anecdotes for another time or two.
It's getting late and I start Spanish tomorrow morning, in addition to the bank visit I've put off for too long and a few butterflies in the name of my college education.
I had sex Friday night, with a name I've dropped casually in older posts. It was good. Not great: I've done better, and better's been done. But, the wake of feelings that have stabilized me in the interim period have been invigorating, and...no, get it out of your pants! Ha ha, double entente est amusement, non? Gad, just think: one day I may be able to speak French!
I don't want this to be the famed "rebound-type incident", because I like this girl, and while I don't expect a repeat, I certainly wouldn't mind writing more about her in the future. But, ladies AND gentlemen: Give your crumbling relationship, your ravished love, your tattered hearts, only so much time to despair, and then do what I did: Get buzzed with an attractive friend and, in my unfashionably passive way, let her start on you. I wish I could have finished her, in my proud tradition I vastly unperformed (go on, roles your eyes, but if you were being this explicit how would you handle it?), but my attic was dry and the need for water became unbearable. Two days later and I'm stiffer than the plywood we where splayed over, among other obligatory comparisons. I'm still thinking about it too much. And, she's been dating a friend of mine for months.
Which is why today's post, the first of the year, is subtitled February 15th. Because that's Her birthday too, and I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself for stabbing her boyfriend in the back. On the other hand, their relationship could have used the finishing touch, so to speak, and I think by that time we were pretty much overextending an already exaggerated friendship.
On the other hand, can you expect any less from a devout 'Rumours' fan? Don't answer that. I'm happy, and I think It's about damned time.
Coming soon: Senior Project. And then, all those obliged to read those posts can delve into my pathetic archive and learn too much about me. Hope this post kept you interested!
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